If you follow nervous system related content on social media, you’ve probably come across the concept of the freeze response. So, what is the freeze response and how does it feel in my nervous system?

It can be confusing to pick it in yourself when you first learn about it, because as a society we often go into a “functional freeze” nervous system state without even recognising. And we are just so overstimulated as a society, that it is a default state for a lot of people.

Consider this scenario.. “Are you in freeze?” I say to my partner. “No, I’m just tired,” he replies while scrolling on his phone instead of cooking dinner as planned.

Firstly, yes, I am the annoying nervous-system nerd always pointing out my loved-ones state of dysregulation. Secondly, you can see that the freeze state is often and easily misunderstood (and frequently leaned on as a way to “rest”).

A lot of people take the word “freeze state” very literally. They may think that the freeze response is occurring only when a person is unable to move or talk. Although they can be signs and symptoms of freeze, they’re probably not the most common ones. Most symptoms of freeze are more subtle.

Read on to find out what is freeze, how do we know when we’re in it and how on earth do we get out of it?

What is the freeze response?

Most people have heard of fight and flight, and the concept of how we will respond when we stumble upon a bear or a lion (or if you’re here in Australia, perhaps a snake or boxing kangaroo). In this moment of high stress, our innate survival instincts kick in and we take immediate decisive action. Will we flee the scene and outrun the predator or stay and fight to the death. Now this might seem very dramatic, because it is! In our bodies this survival instinct is strong. Our biology responds to these threats by increasing stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, causing our blood pressure to go up, giving us more energy and a greater chance of survival.

So what happens when it’s a snake and against our better instincts of fight or flight, we’ve learned that freezing will give us the best chance of survival? All those stress hormones are still released in the body, only this time, they haven’t had an opportunity to discharge through movement. Our nervous systems tell us that fighting or fleeing won’t work in this instant, so it starts to move towards ‘shutting down’, aka the freeze response.

You can apply this pattern to many everyday situations. Perhaps your boss belittles you and you’ve learned that there are negative consequences for arguing back. Someone might press against you on a crowded train and every fibre of your being is telling you to push them off, but you decide to keep composure and maintain polite train etiquette, standing still and tolerating being packed in like sardines with your face in someone’s underarm.

After all the stressors we face in life, some of us develop a highly sensitive freeze response. This is when the dorsal vagus nerve is easily triggered and the body goes into shutdown. For some people, this response has been conditioned after a series of events where we learned that saying or doing nothing was safer than reacting on the impulse to stand up for ourselves. It becomes our go-to autonomic-nervous-system reaction to encountered threats.

How can I tell if I’m experiencing the freeze response?

When we’ve experienced a lot of ongoing stress, anxiety or trauma, we may find ourselves in something known as ‘functional freeze’. It is so regularly misunderstood and overlooked because from an outsider's perspective everything seems like business as usual. However, on the inside we may feel stuck, heavy, tired or limited in our abilities. This can manifest as unusual periods of napping, task avoidance and procrastination, and we may even criticise ourselves as lazy. We may feel burnt out, fatigued, somewhat depressed or apathetic towards things that used to bring us joy.

If your freeze response is easily triggered, you may shut down quickly at the nearest sign of potential conflict, lose the ability to think clearly or express yourself, and choose the easiest options available because everything else feels too hard.

Here’s a checklist for indications that you might have a sensitive freeze response:

You feel hungry but thinking of what to cook is too overwhelming
Difficulty articulating your feelings
Self-isolating, withdrawing from friendships and cancelling plans
Struggling to start tasks or focus
Feeling overstimulated by sounds and light
You lose time scrolling on social media or online window shopping
Responding to messages and emails feels overwhelming so you ignore your notifications
You avoid decision making and leave it to others or choose the most convenient option
You’re thirsty but it’s too much effort to reach for the glass of water in front of you
Feeling numb, apathetic, and lacking joy towards things which used to excite you
You have big dreams and goals but don’t know where to get started
Your body feels heavy and stiff with muscle tension
You have low energy, fatigue, or require naps to get through the day
At any sign of conflict you suddenly become heavy and can’t think clearly
You avoid fights and conflict at all costs

How to overcome a sensitive freeze response

Avoid self-criticism
In order to evolve from this state and work with the autonomic-nervous-system, the freeze response requires compassion, acceptance, and positive self-talk. Your body is intelligent and the freeze response was designed as a coping tool for self-preservation. Until now, it has done the best job it can to keep you safe, and that deserves some gratitude. Each time you notice yourself going into freeze, try using a statement of self-acceptance or affirmation, such as “even though I feel frozen, I am grateful that my body always does its best to protect me”
Acknowledge that you are safe in the present moment
Unless you are actually living in a constant state of fear, such as war, famine or domestic violence, the freeze response probably doesn’t serve you anymore. Come back to the present moment using mindfulness and bring your awareness to the things you can see around you, smell, taste, touch and feel with your body. I will often remind myself “I am safe, right here, right now”.
Become aware of triggers
Keep a journal and note each time you notice yourself in freeze. This will train your brain to start identifying the freeze response sooner and therefore take action to pull yourself out of it sooner. It also helps to bring your list to session with your counsellor, work through the root causes and create strategies to decrease your stress load.
Learn how to discharge stress
Move your body, join a meditation studio, learn EFT tapping (read my blog on tapping here, and join one of our group tapping workshops here). There are many ways to move stress in the body and learn to regulate the nervous system so you can move from the dorsal vagus state into the ventral vagus. Stimulating the vagus nerve helps us to come back to regulation, where we feel safe and connected. Listening to your body’s needs when you feel stress and knowing which tools to use is vital to discharging everyday stress.
Integrate trauma in the nervous system
Now, this one is NOT advised to try on your own. Think of it like rewiring your house. Yes it’s your house and your responsibility to ensure it’s safe, but you’re probably not a qualified electrician and you shouldn’t have to do it on your own. It’s important to get it right.

Instagram gurus will sell you breathwork for healing the soul and books may say that you can heal yourself with celery juice alone. This is not how healing works and hyper fixating on one quick fix could actually do more harm than good - please learn from my rookie mistakes during the early years of my personal healing journey.

Mental and emotional health is complex and so is your own healing journey. It is best advised that you work with a highly trained, trauma-informed mental health professional, not the first guy who comes up on google. It’s not always easy to get started doing the self-work that is needed for optimal health and mental wellbeing, but it is definitely worth the effort. So work with someone you can trust to hold compassionate space for you, someone who can educate you about the mind-body connection and offer tools to support meaningful change.

At the end of the day, it is important to listen to your body and what it is communicating with you. You may be overloaded with stress and need a break. Or perhaps you’re living on autopilot after a long period of stressful events. Remember that even if other health professionals can’t seem to find a problem, you are the expert of your experience, and there are specialist professionals out there who are ready to take your concerns seriously and offer you personalised support.